How To Avoid Abuse
Hey there, beautiful soul,
We often think, “I’m a strong woman; I’ll never fall prey to any abuse or exploitation.” But you’d be surprised to know that even the strongest among us can find themselves in such situations. It’s not just the weak or vulnerable who face abuse. So, what causes abuse—whether physical, mental, or emotional? The obvious reason is trauma.
Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
Trauma, in my view, consists of unprocessed memories tied to heavy emotions. When unchecked, these memories can lead to poor decisions, false narratives, and distorted self-beliefs. Let me share a personal example. I’ve been open about my experience with domestic violence. In hindsight, I realized that my false sense of self-worth was the primary reason I fell into that situation. I believed I was strong and invincible, but unresolved traumas and the lack of a healthy role model contributed to my vulnerability.
Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Trauma
Many women, and men, fall for the wrong person because of unprocessed traumas. They get exploited, even when they believe they are strong. It can start innocently enough—a nice meal, sweet words—but before you know it, you’re being forced into situations you never imagined.
Preventing Abuse and Exploitation
To avoid falling into this trap, it’s crucial to get comfortable with knowing yourself. Reflect on these questions:
- Do you seek validation and approval online?
- Is your self-worth tied to fame, power, or social media likes?
- Are you uncomfortable being alone?
If your sense of self is fixated on external validation, you can easily be exploited. Feeling incomplete or uncomfortable on your own makes you susceptible to manipulation.
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
It’s okay to fall in love, but you need to know where to draw the line. Healthy boundaries are essential. Learn to communicate your standards and say no. Without these skills, you risk exploitation. Critical thinking and fact-checking are your allies. Don’t blindly follow the allure of gifts, cash, or luxurious dinners. If your self-worth is externalized, you become an easy target.
Knowing Yourself and Recognizing Red Flags
Understanding who you are and what you stand for is crucial. Know your non-negotiables and the red flags to watch for. If you can assertively say no and recognize when something isn’t right, you’re less likely to be exploited. Trust is earned over time, not overnight. Keep asking the right questions, maintain your standards, and ensure your relationships are balanced.
Remember, trust must be earned, and no one should be placed on a pedestal. Space and time are your friends—they give you the clarity and breathing room to evaluate your relationships rationally.
Stay strong and true to yourself. There’s so much more to explore on how to prevent abuse and heal from trauma. Stay tuned for more insights and guidance.
Take care,
Mae
